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2003-07-07 - 10:46 a.m. I've used a turn of phrase recently that has stopped longtime friends in their tracks. Strange how two words can have people who have known you for years looking at you like you are growing an extra appendage. "Aesthetic ideal" Yes, I have one. Yes - me - the one who argues that it's what's inside that counts - who someone is not what they look like that's really important. Which I totally believe, but I'm human too you know. There are certain folks that make me sigh or melt just looking at them. I don't think that it's much different for other people. Some people's are obvious in the "type" that they tend to date or drool over. Notably, a good friend's descriptions of any girl he is attracted to involves the word "stacked" ... and I'm not even sure if he realizes it, but I've been privately chuckling about it for years now. And sure, someone that is close to your aesthetic ideal can become completely unattractive the moment they open their mouths and say something stupid. And someone who has nothing to do with your aesthetic ideal can become more and more attractive the more you get to know them and find out what fabulous people they are (as is often the case with the people I've dated). But generally, people like what they like. Some people like curvy women, petite women, or tall thin women with legs that go on forever, or men that are wiry (read: tall, skinny and agile), triangular (broad shoulders tapered down to waist), or "hairy" ... down to very specific features like long hair (dark hair, red hair ... no hair), a chisled jawline, glasses, dimples, a cleft chin. And I'm convinced that at least some of it is genetically programmed. Me? Well, there are certain features that are appealing. Strong shoulders, strong eyebrows, nice quads, soft delicate hands, full lips (with a deep bow to them). And so much is contained in how someone carries him or herself. But features here and there are different from an aesthetic ideal. For me the aesthetic ideal is more of a body type thing. And more about who I'd rather cuddle up with than see an artist's sketch of. And interestingly, I'm realizing that this aesthetic ideal is a bit androgynous (not that the person is required to look androgynous ... just that it could go either way - it's just not specifically one gender or the other). And it's funny because there have been many people that I've dated and been attracted to that do not even come close to my own concept of my aesthetic ideal. And I've dated more women who were closer to the aesthetic ideal than men - which is really strange since the original concept in my head was vaguely male (and I've been with more men than women on the whole). Heavens - I don't know if it's a very good idea to detail it all here. I don't want the people I've dated to wonder where they fit into this whole thing. But I've gone this far, I might as well finish it. A slightly stocky build - not too tall, fair skin, light hair, light eyes, significant lack of facial hair, and what's probably considered a "baby face". Now add the strong shoulders, strong eyebrows, nice quads, soft delicate hands, full lips (with a deep bow to them), a pair of specs (glasses), and a bookish (intelligent, slightly shy) subtle charm ... and you have a more complete picture.
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